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It’s no news that an increasing number of people are deliberately opting not to have children these days. Furthermore, despite the fact that some people still think it was introduced by younger generations—millennials are currently eye-rolling—that isn’t really the case.
The decision has been shared by many members of generation X, defined as individuals born between the middle of the 1960s and the beginning of the 1980s. Gen Xers, who fall between baby boomers and millennials, are renowned for learning the value of independence and work-life balance due to their lack of parental supervision. Some of them are also content with their childless lives.
The question, “People over 50 who chose to be childfree, do you regret your decision?” was posted. On r/AskReddit, the question “Why or why not?” quickly became a really fascinating thread. Some of the more insightful responses that clarify the choice and present it in a whole different way than you may have previously considered are compiled below.
I’m fifty-five (F) and have never desired children. I simply don’t like them, and becoming a mother for more than 20 years sounded—and still does—like a prison term. For dogs and cats, maternal af, but for tiny humans? Not a chance.
And I’m glad I don’t have any kids. There is no other way I could envision my existence.
You know that sensation you get when you’re eager to teach your child how to play baseball? That’s how I explain it to folks. or anything else you’d like to tell them? I don’t possess that. In essence, it’s a lack of parental intuition. I never dreamed of having children. It’s the same with my SO.
Please understand that I have nothing against kids. And when someone hurts or mistreats them, I get incredibly upset. I simply never desired to have my own.
Not at all. I’ve never thought I’d make a decent parent. Although I don’t believe I would have physically abused someone, I have a short fuse, and my words and voice would have been harsh, much like my own father.”
“I wouldn’t want to expose any child to that style of parenting since I wasn’t happy growing up with that kind mom.
Bored Panda interviewed Zoë Noble, the creator of the “We Are Childfree” community, which celebrates childfree lives one tale at a time, to learn more about the childfree lifestyle that an increasing number of individuals are choosing these days.
“Being a parent is the norm in our society. “Everyone just has children because that’s just what ‘everyone’ does,” Zoë informed us, adding that it’s not a conscious choice or option and isn’t even visible. Childfree individuals, perhaps for the first time, contest that notion and present it to the public. She added, “And that makes people uncomfortable.”
“If it’s not a requirement, or even a good idea, for everyone to have children, then that raises questions about parenting, motherhood especially, and sex, sexuality, gender… so many of the assumptions that our patriarchal, capitalist, religious, heteronormative world is built on,” stated the author of “We Are Childfree.” “You’re supposed to have a bunch of good reasons, to be able to justify and defend yourself in a way that those who follow the script never have to,” Zoë added, referring to a position that is nevertheless viewed as extreme by mainstream society.
For years, my wife was employed at a nursing facility. Consider the fact that more than 95% of elderly persons never receive family visits. People want a piece of the pie till they pass away. The entire “well, who is going to visit you or take care of you when you’re older” line is total bullsh*t, I discovered at this point. After that, we made the decision to never have children again. toured the world and made wonderful friends. No regrets.
Despite our long-standing decision to forgo having children, my wife and I have always kept the option open. At forty, we have no regrets whatsoever about not having children. For us, it still seems like the proper decision. Hopefully, we will continue to feel that way for a very long time.
“Who will take care of you when you’re old?” is one of the many questions people ask us. and “what if something happens to your spouse?” We don’t mean to be judgmental, but those have always seemed like very self-serving justifications for having kids.
F(56) No, I’m not sorry. I’m just a loner at heart, and I enjoy spending time with my kitties.
“And that’s great—and some people, a far smaller number, just don’t want to—and that’s great too,” Zoë remarked, acknowledging that the majority of people simply want to have children. People have learnt to appreciate one another’s personal decisions, therefore I’d love for us to reach a point where initiatives like We are Childfree are no longer necessary.
The author responded that Zoë always knew she didn’t want children when asked how she came to the decision to live a childfree life. “I was afraid to live my truth and felt isolated in my emotions. I had heard that women without children are aloof, self-centered, and fixated on their careers, and I was afraid that others would feel the same way about me. The woman recalled, “I kept that part of me hidden, tucked away in the back of my mind, because I didn’t see anyone like me in my life or in the media growing up.”
I’m fifty-two and sitting in bed with a book and a mug of tea, admiring the morning sky over the ocean. No one is requesting cereal, a diaper change, the car, or to sleep in my bed, and the music is quiet.
Later I shall wander through a museum without a stroller, a melancholy tween, or a crying, hungry, wet baby. Yes, the children would behave occasionally, but what is the percentage? A vegan, someone who only eats chicken nuggets, and someone who will burn water if I let them near a saucepan are all people who BI will cook for.
I’ve never felt bad about my choice.
Not at all. I never lost sleep, leisure time, or the majority of my income because I felt the need to change diapers. The children of others are wonderful. primarily because they belong to other individuals.
I respond to inquiries about “who will take care of you when you’re old” by saying that I want to adopt a 40-year-old when I’m 75.
I am 57 years old and have no children. I have no regrets about that. I genuinely think I would have been a terrible mother. Being an absolute introvert, I was persuaded that my choice was the right one when I saw my sister with her sprogs always clinging to her, begging for food, attention, a toy, or anything else, and yelling, “Mommy, mommy, mommy.” I would have been pushed to murder or suicide very quickly if I had kids. I like my sister’s children, who have grown into amazing young adults, but I need a lot of alone time to stay sane, and you can’t get that from children. Had I had them, I might have turned into one of those dreadful people who give their children Benadryl to put them to sleep so they can have some quiet. For me, being childless is preferable.
At around 30, Zoë’s life took a drastic turn when she relocated from London to Berlin, Germany. “I developed the self-assurance to accept my true self. As soon as I began to publicly declare that I didn’t want children, a burden was removed. With We are Childfree, I hope to encourage individuals to live genuinely, love who they are, and stand in their truth—to know that they are not alone and that there is nothing wrong with them.
Being childless, according to Zoë, has allowed her to follow a fulfilling life path and the freedom to alter course when it is convenient for her. It has allowed me to travel as much as I want, change occupations, and relocate to a different nation. Parents can still accomplish those things, but it’s more difficult,” she continued.
“Not having children has allowed me to pursue that sense of adventure, and I love that I don’t know what my life will end up looking like,” Zoë said.
No. When I consented to marry my spouse, I was aware of what I was getting into. He had a vasectomy and two sons from his first marriage. Since I was so young (he is ten years older), he was concerned. After giving it some real thought, I decided that I preferred a life with him rather than one without him, but maybe with a baby I hadn’t even had yet. We’ve been together for 26 years, so everything worked out for us. I also have nine grandchildren. Enjoy all the enjoyment without having to do the raising labor!
Yes, I agree; it took me years to fully accept the fact that I had no desire to have children. I first believed that the desire would miraculously grow as I grew older. Later, I believed that I was mentally ill and that I needed to “talk myself into it” or have a child in the hopes that the sensation would materialize. However, I am currently in my mid-thirties and still have no desire to have children. I’m frequently asked “why” I don’t want children. Like, there are a hundred reasons why. However, “because I don’t want them” is the most significant justification. In other words, “I don’t WANT them” In other words, I just don’t actively want it. Why would I make myself do something I don’t naturally want to do? It seems like a fantastic way to ruin some poor kids’ lives and mine.
No, and I’ve discovered someone who shares my sentiments. We are the hip uncle and aunt.
Additionally, we wanted to hear the opinions of a Redditor who goes by the handle IBeTrippin and has chosen to live childfree. “I explain it to people like this—you know that feeling you get where you just can’t wait to teach your kid how to play baseball?” the Redditor commented in response to the thread. or anything else you would like to tell them? I don’t possess that. In essence, there is a lack of parental instinct. I never dreamed of having children. It’s the same with my SO. Please understand that I have nothing against kids. And when someone hurts or mistreats them, I get incredibly upset. I simply never desired to have my own.
I have no regrets at the age of 57. When we first started dating, my husband believed he wanted children, but he is now also quite content that we never had any. It has made our lives more debt-free, tranquil, and free. It’s so much nicer to have the freedom to choose how we want to live.
Additionally, I don’t believe that parents should have children merely to have insurance coverage for their later years. I don’t think any child is thankful to have been born in this world given what is undoubtedly going to happen as a result of climate change, and it is wrong to bring other people into the world with the assumption that they will help you when you need them.
I regret that I wasn’t in a relationship that was healthy enough for me to feel that I COULD have children, but I don’t really regret not having kids. I regret not having the strength to escape the abuse sooner; perhaps I could have at least had the option if I had been stronger.
So, yes, I regret things.
The best choice I’ve ever made. But it wanted knowledge more than a choice. I didn’t picture having children in my future and never desired them, therefore I knew from a very young age that I wouldn’t have any. I adore my alone, self-centered life! Do as I please, when I please.
Despite my desire, I was unable to have children. For years, I felt regret, but today I’m at peace. I’m 64 years old.
I have been happily married for almost thirty years, am in my sixties, and am childless.
I’m mostly pleased with our choice. Both my spouse and I occasionally wish that things had turned out differently and that we had a reliable companion to support us as we age.
Our reasons for not having children, however, remain the same.
Both of us saw that the world was heading in an unsustainable path. Ecologically unsound techniques were the focus, while research on global climate change was not.
Both of us come from households with a large number of kids and grandchildren. As a result, our genes will be represented without consuming more resources.
We didn’t want our kids to go through what we had gone through—being teased about our looks.
We didn’t want to take the chance because we had both been exposed to higher than usual quantities of radiation.
For my part, I was worried about being a decent father. (In contrast, my husband would have been fantastic.)
I believed that I was too old by the time we could afford to have children. I would never have informed my 40-year-old mother, who had five children before me and one after, that some of us didn’t receive the same amount of care and attention as her eldest. I didn’t want to harm someone else in that way.
Therefore, rather than producing children, we helped those who were already here in a variety of ways. Although we ultimately wish the situation had been different, we generally do not regret our choice.
Not at all, and I am certain that I made the right decision despite my health issues and other issues.
I’ll weigh in because I’m nearing fifty. I simply never felt the need to have children. However, after their mother, my sister, passed away in a car accident when they were five and seven years old, respectively, I ended up helping to raise my niece and nephew. While their father worked and his b*tchass wife didn’t want them around, I divided housing them on the weekends even though I didn’t have the full-time position. For years, I had them around half the summer and every other weekend. I ended up acting more like a parent than an aunt because they are now 19 and 21. Being a part-time parent substitute was exhausting enough, and I’m glad I didn’t have children of my own since they were a handful. Of course, I also wish their mother hadn’t died. You’re amazing, full-time parents; I couldn’t manage it. At least their father paid me for all the time I looked after them, sharing my sister’s social security income so I could provide the children with food, clothing, and enjoyable camps and activities.
Even though I adore them, I’m still happy that I didn’t have children of my own. They’re wonderful kids, and I adore them, but they’ve also let me down quite a few times by misbehaving and making poor choices, but that’s what all kids do. Anyone who messed with my niece and nephew would get a beating from me.
I feel the same way because I work in education. At work, I’ve raised enough people’s children. I don’t think I have the energy to even consider including mine. After a tough day of teaching, I’ll never understand how coworkers can go home and take care of their kids. I’m exhausted at the end of the day and just want to go to bed.
#22
I’m content, retired, and childless. How joyful? Julie Andrews joyfully spinning on a mountain. I can relate to children at any stage because I have nieces, nephews, and now their children.
Here, #23 51. I decided not to have children because I never really believed I would be a good father.
I’m happy I didn’t.
I’d be sad to see what kind of world they’ll be living in in ten or twenty years.
Yes, but it wasn’t a decision. Despite my happy marriage, I worry about my wife’s future after I pass away. She will be by herself. Other than that, it’s excellent.
While attending college, my wife and I got married. Following graduation, we began our occupations. After a while, we questioned whether we were missing out on anything, such as children, and concluded that we were. Thirty years later, it’s still going strong and we continue to do it.
#26
65 years old I must admit that I don’t regret anything. I’m glad I stayed to the decision I made early in life!
#27 Hispanic This guy is almost sixty years old, but no, I don’t. It’s very uncommon in my culture for someone to choose to be childless, and I didn’t plan on being childless at first; I just avoided having children because I knew I wasn’t ready. Things just went from there. Although I now realize that most men aren’t completely prepared when it happens, I still think I would make a fantastic father, and I have no regrets at all!
over 50 and childless. My one regret is that, despite our mutual agreement that we didn’t want children, I sometimes feel as though I denied my wife the opportunity to be a wonderful mother. I sometimes question whether I forced her to make that choice. It occasionally gets to her because she deals with the elderly on a daily basis and meets a lot of lonely people. I was never particularly intrigued in the idea of parenting since I was constantly worried that I might make a mistake. However, I’m a loner by nature.
I am forty years old. I’m sorry. I have no idea how awful I’ll feel when I’m fifty.
#30
No, I never had any real desire for children. I’m perfectly okay with the fact that I enjoy children and have ties with my nieces and nephews.